i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize