Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
