Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
