I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
