i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
