if you like me you must not know who I am
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
