she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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