I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
That's intense
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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