I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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