just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I need to align my fucking chakras
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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