i don't like sucking hair
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
