please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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