Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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