$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
