I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So here I am, sexting at work.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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