p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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