I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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