that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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