Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize