how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
