Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
