I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
