I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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