He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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