Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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