so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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