so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
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