Can i not drive my cunt home
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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