508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
