Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
