i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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