You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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