After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
