my vag is so smooth its legendary
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
