Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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