If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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