I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
