You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
