There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
