i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
