puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
