Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
