No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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