Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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