Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
