I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
she smelled like a LAN party
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Of course I have a pirate flag
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
