dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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