bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!