I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
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pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
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He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.