whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.