I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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