Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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