Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Small penises have feelings too.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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