I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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