I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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