I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
