Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
