I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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